The Behaviour Quadrant is something I came up with when trying to quit pornography addiction a few years ago, and since then it’s helped me to quit other bad habits like overeating and substance abuse.
Good and Bad
Good and bad are relative, meaning that their meaning is dependent on our identity: if we identify as a human, we consider crimes against humanity to be bad, but if we identified as a table, which some ‘crazy’ people supposedly do, we would not care about the death of a human in the slightest.
There are people who identify as things other than humans, and in order to keep society running smoothly, they’re usually locked up. Subconsciously we teach children that they are humans as early as possible, so that they do not question whether crimes against humanity are bad, and this is very good for our survival.
❌ = ✅ (Bad = Good)
• The pleasure of the hunt for a good clip
• The pleasure of orgasm
• the pleasure of being free of stress (for a few minutes)
This is the domain of cravings, temptation, and advertising that promotes bad, unhealthy things as good.
The Devil’s vocation is to trick humanity into believing that bad things are good and that good things are bad.
Whenever a bad thing is being perceived as good it is a Bad = Good experience.
I have sworn off sugary biscuits multiple times, only to fall victim to temptation. The experience of temptation is a Bad = Good experience.
You may hear someone justify doing unhealthy things by saying that it cannot be bad because it makes them feel good. There is something distinctly unnerving about routinely using things from the physical world to cause temporary feelings of bliss. The insight that nothing in the external world can be used as a tool to achieve lasting peace is part of the puzzle of peace. The best that can be achieved with external things in the quest for permanent peace is a false kind of permanent peace, which is just low-quality blissful experiences, strung together in a chain. “You’d better not break the chain though, or you’ll face the hell of sobriety!” What a lamentable state!
Peace can only be sustained from within, beyond the mind, in the same way that things in the external physical world cannot be manipulated from within our mind or beyond the mind.* The devil tries to hide this knowledge from us because if we were to apply it, we would have no reason to ever be unhappy again.
Is necessarily determines that life itself is hell. By way of making man dependant on external things for happiness, the devil succeeds in putting man in hell.
We must protect long-term happiness. Long-term happiness is not frequent bursts of short-term happiness over time. Look at the drunkard, he’s smiling!
Examples:
Diet
The euphoric sensations of eating junk food
The rush of rebellion
Movement
The crude joy that one feels when they find out that the gym is closed
Happiness
The crude relief of
The crude
Sleep
The crude feeling of achievement of staying awake the whole night
A technique for removing cravings is sarcastically rejoicing to oneself about the thought of indulging in the Bad behaviour. For example:
“Awwww yeahhhh, imagine going out and bringing back a huuuge stack of pizzas. Putting them in the oven one by one, seasoning them, eating them slowly one by one, while I numb out to something on YouTube. I’ll feel reeeaaal good in the morning, and will make me smell greeeaaat.”
“Mmmmmm, I can’t wait to watch some nasty porn and feel ashamed of myself afterwards! I looove feeling tired all the time- and don’t even get me started about having socially anxiety! 👌🏼 I can watch anything imaginable! Who cares if it’s really just me alone in the dark? When I numb myself to reality, it feels like I’m there!”
Try including a mix of Bad = Good things and Bad = Bad things for the higher mind to detect what’s truly Good. Bad ≠ Good. That’s twisted, inverse, wrong, false. Bad = Good only to the lower mind, which is primitive enough to mistake real friendship for social media followers, real sex for pornography, unhealthy foods which provide short-term energy and harms the body for healthy foods which provide long-term energy and heals the body.
*Truly dedicated spiritual aspirants, for whom there is no other life path that interests them, have been reported to have attained the ability of telekinesis and other siddhis. Jesus Christ is an example of a spiritual teacher who may have lived in an exceptionally rare and high state of samadhi, in which external phenomena such as wine and fish can be altered by using the mind. To understand that this could be a possibility, one must first know that the boundary between our ‘internal’ and ‘external’ experience is actually imaginary. There is no difference between ‘me’ and ‘the world’.
❌ = ✅ (Good = Bad)
The pain of cold turkey
The pain of not scratching the itch
Movement
The pain and inconvenience of going on a run
The pain of thinking that everyone’s judging you for being in the gym
Diet
The boring taste of vegetables relative to sugary foods
Semen retention
The pain of abstaining from that quick pleasure
❌ = ❌ (Bad = Bad)
Stuck in a rut
Poor social skills, social anxiety
Brain fog
Sexual dysfunction
Depression
A Bad = Bad experience is one in which we’re aware that the thing we’ve defined as bad, is bad. This might look like sitting alone on the couch after eating junk food, feeling terrible, knowing that eating junk food has caused this misery.
Bad = Bad experience
Examples
Diet
Low-energy after eating loads of bullshit food. Inability to be at my best.
Feeling like the only thing you wanna do is sleep.
Looking flabby, losing muscle
Smelly
Judgement from others
Movement
Looking flabby
Happiness
Life becoming a grind after not doing much of what you enjoy
Sleep
Feeling tired and unrested,
Once you’ve had enough Bad = Bad experience, and you’re certain that the behaviour is detrimental to your life, don’t stick around- it’s important to get out as soon as
✅ = ✅ (Good = Good)
Feeling clean
More energy
Feel alive
Social skills increasing
Watching 'NoFap benefits' videos
Diet
How our level of vitality feels after having eaten only whole foods for a month
Having less smelly armpits and breath
Movement
Being able to play with our grandchildren
Being able to travel far and wide to have amazing experiences
Happiness
Having a breakthrough due to meditation
How it feels to be completely at peace
Semen retention
How it feels to have control over your sexuality
Sleep
How good it feels to be well rested
Knowing that you’re good mood is partially due to having a great night’s sleep
Socialising
Making new friends, having a fun adventure